All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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