am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
