Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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