No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
