How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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