walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What a dumb baby whore.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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