i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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