this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
