but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
