does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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