Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
