So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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