I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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