After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
