my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
