She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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