i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
