Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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