one two three fourrrrnication!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i've created a new STD.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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