"it" just moved
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
