I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
3 2 1 whiskey
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
