Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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