DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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