i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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