Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
