I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
