I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wish my penis had a tongue
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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