she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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