so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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