it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize