Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
vagina is talking i cant
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
