She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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