I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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