Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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