You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I CAN MOONWALK!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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