apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
