If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize