I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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