Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
