there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
