next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize