But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
