Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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