Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
