dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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