Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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