all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
