I want to stick my p in your. b.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
