Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
