**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
