You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When are your genitals available?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
