Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
