i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
