I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
