I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
