I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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