You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
