So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
