And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
