Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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