Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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