Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
