Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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