and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
