# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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