We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
