In the future we'll all be gay
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
