she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
