She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
