is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
