i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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