people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
