not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize