I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
