I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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