i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
